Monday, November 19, 2012

Habits, Chapters, and Phones


I am a creature of habit. Many daily tasks in my life I do the same way today than I did when I was 12. My childhood teddy bear still sleeps on my pillow with me. I always take showers in the same order. I put my bag in the same place when I get home, every time. I have always been happy when things stay the same- same Christmas traditions, same dinner seating arrangements, same toothbrush location, same cell phone number.

John is the opposite. It is not that he doesn’t like routine, it’s that he’s diametrically opposed to it. He decided he wanted to start drinking coffee in the morning. On the 4th morning, he didn’t make coffee—he was sick of the routine. He prefers it when things stay fluid and variable- he moves icons around on his desktop, has 3 different sticks of deodorant in various locations in the boat and truck, and never makes a meal the same way twice.

I do not understand John’s opposition to routine, and he certainly does not understand my infatuation with it. But we respect that characteristc in each other, and it keeps us both balanced. I encourage him to have enough routine to remember important things- like picking up his keys and cell phone before walking out the door, and he helps me break my attachment to absurdly insignificant material things (like my travel shampoo bottle, which I’ve used since high school, that “we” lost)

I used to dread the closing of a chapter – the end of a summer spent doing the same thing almost every day; moving out of a dorm room, apartment, or house; even changing my email address made me nostalgic. This may surprise you, knowing my lifestyle now. I’ve come a long way.

Last week I closed a chapter. To most, the chapter would never have been so long. To many, the event would have gone unnoticed. To a few, it would bring a moment of hesitation, a hint of sadness, an occasion of commemoration. But to persist through that moment- to turn your sights forward, into what is to come, to celebrate the new chapter, the exciting opportunities as yet unrealized. That is what I have learned to do.

I got a new phone number. Yes, you’ll say- you’ve had 6 numbers in the last 2 years, we can’t keep up! I know, but through all of that, I still had my number. The one I was issued with my first cell phone at age 15, the phone that only stored 20 contacts, had no caller id, and was the size of my face. The number that has been associated with my identity through high school, through college, past Ghana, into the move to Seattle, even in Canada it is the number I used most often.

It’s important, though, to close chapters, to allow room for new ones to open. Yes, I paused. Yes, my heart twinged, just a bit. But I did it. And there were no tears or tantrums or anything. This is how John balances me.

And in the vein of changed contact information, I also have a new last name, email address, mailing address, and physical address. I believe now we’re talking less about chapters and more about whole books…

Who knows what kind of wack-o’s have access to this blog, so I’m not going to post all that private information here, ‘cause I’m not that interested in stalkers these days. But if you want that information, send a comment or email and if I like you enough, I’ll tell ya how to reach me :-) 

And if you're really lucky, I'll give you John's new number too.  

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