I am a creature of habit. Many daily tasks in my life I do
the same way today than I did when I was 12. My childhood teddy bear still
sleeps on my pillow with me. I always take showers in the same order. I put my
bag in the same place when I get home, every time. I have always been happy
when things stay the same- same Christmas traditions, same dinner seating
arrangements, same toothbrush location, same cell phone number.
John is the opposite. It is not that he doesn’t like
routine, it’s that he’s diametrically opposed to it. He decided he wanted to
start drinking coffee in the morning. On the 4th morning, he didn’t
make coffee—he was sick of the routine. He prefers it when things stay fluid
and variable- he moves icons around on his desktop, has 3 different sticks of
deodorant in various locations in the boat and truck, and never makes a meal
the same way twice.
I do not understand John’s opposition to routine, and he
certainly does not understand my infatuation with it. But we respect that
characteristc in each other, and it keeps us both balanced. I encourage him to
have enough routine to remember important things- like picking up his keys and
cell phone before walking out the door, and he helps me break my attachment to
absurdly insignificant material things (like my travel shampoo bottle, which
I’ve used since high school, that “we” lost)
I used to dread the closing of a chapter – the end of a
summer spent doing the same thing almost every day; moving out of a dorm room,
apartment, or house; even changing my email address made me nostalgic. This may
surprise you, knowing my lifestyle now. I’ve come a long way.
Last week I closed a chapter. To most, the chapter would
never have been so long. To many, the event would have gone unnoticed. To a
few, it would bring a moment of hesitation, a hint of sadness, an occasion of
commemoration. But to persist through that moment- to turn your sights forward,
into what is to come, to celebrate the new chapter, the exciting opportunities
as yet unrealized. That is what I have learned to do.
I got a new phone number. Yes, you’ll say- you’ve had 6
numbers in the last 2 years, we can’t keep up! I know, but through all of that,
I still had my number. The one I was
issued with my first cell phone at age 15, the phone that only stored 20
contacts, had no caller id, and was the size of my face. The number that has
been associated with my identity through high school, through college, past
Ghana, into the move to Seattle, even in Canada it is the number I used most
often.
It’s important, though, to close chapters, to allow room for
new ones to open. Yes, I paused. Yes, my heart twinged, just a bit. But I did
it. And there were no tears or tantrums or anything. This is how John balances
me.
And in the vein of changed contact information, I also have
a new last name, email address, mailing address, and physical address. I
believe now we’re talking less about chapters and more about whole books…
Who knows what kind of wack-o’s have access to this blog, so
I’m not going to post all that private information here, ‘cause I’m not that
interested in stalkers these days. But if you want that information, send a
comment or email and if I like you enough, I’ll tell ya how to reach me :-)
And if you're really lucky, I'll give you John's new number too.
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